Who are your mentors, and why you need them

In the previous post, I wrote about Charlie Munger's concept of having your personal board of directors to guide your thoughts and behaviours. Its core idea is to have inspirational figures in your life from whom you can learn and aspire to be like. When we were younger, we looked up to adults for all the answers, and they become the first "mentors" in our lives. As we grow into adults, who do we identify as mentors, and do we still need them?

This question is crucial as we navigate our personal and professional lives. Arguably, as adults we still need mentors along the way. In your own journey, there would be someone who has been through similar experiences and learned from them. That wisdom is valuable information for you who can decide either to follow or avoid and try something else. However, a mentor's presence goes beyond that too.

Mentors help to shape who you are

Upon graduation, I wasn't sure what to do for work, but I was very eager to learn. While figuring out what role that interests me, I chose to focus on finding mentors and prioritise learning soft skills. Because of this intention, I eventually found myself working closely with founders of the businesses, and learned from them strong work ethics, ways of thinking, and leadership skills.

During the early stage of my career, I was fortunate to have them as mentors. They highlighted my tendency to be direct and aggressive, which could potentially harm interpersonal relationships and career progression. This made me hone self-awareness to catch myself and to consider and reframe my words.

We need mentors to become our unique self

In Gordon Ramsey's Masterclass, he recounted how he worked with one great chef after another when starting out. He did so until he was able to "master" each great chef, and arrive at a tipping point to create something of his own. As a creative, this process is long and necessary to find your own sense of style.

This process applies to everyone too. Not just to find your unique sense of style, but a sense of who you are. While it doesn't have to be a famous person, a mentor can be someone close to you who possesses a quality that you truly admire and that you wish to emulate till it becomes a part of who you are. You could start by thinking about who you admire and what is the quality that makes them admirable to you. Soon, you'll find yourself with a collection of people and their (positive) qualities to learn from.

Learning takes time

When I did have mentors in early stages of my career, I learnt to have something specific to achieve by learning from them. A mentorship takes up time and mentors need to be invested in your growth. It will benefit both parties when you are intentional about it and clear on the goal you are working towards.

If the mentor you had in mind isn't someone accessible to you, it is still beneficial to have them in mind. Referring back to one of my "board of directors" – it is a fictional character, Ben from the movie Intern. I'd often think about "what would Ben do" when I join a new work team that requires astuteness. Consciously asking myself that has made me better at navigate any new social environments too.

Learn and form meaningful connections

While mentors may come and go, mentorships have been meaningful connections that I cherish dearly. Aside from learning from each other, I think it's also the bond you form that leaves a positive impact. I'm grateful for the mentors that I had in my early twenties and will definitely seek out more mentors in the future, and also hopefully be one someday.